Close Encounters

Last night as I was transferring laundry from the washer to the dryer, I noticed that all of the clothes were coated in a slimy sort of gelatinous substance. GASP!  “Aliens…hatching in our laundry!?”  If only.  So I proceed to the next logical source of information – le wife.

She gives me a perplexed look. Was it some kind of jelly that got left in a pocket? There were some random decorative gelatin floral vase decoration balls at the preschool we visited….no, that’s not it. Too long ago. Maybe somehow one of those desiccant/silica gel packets from munchkin’s freeze dried fruits wound up in the wash. I was satisfied with that answer and continued my chore of reaching into the abyss of the washing machine to extract clothes.

Then I found it.

A diaper.

Alien spawn would have been far more interesting.  You see, I was at a conference through the first half of the week. While I was off learning about the nuances of my new professional role in Pismo Beach (see photos), the wife was at home with a miserable toddler. Nobody wants to see pictures of the diaper, so I thought I’d share some photos of Shell Beach instead.

The view from my balcony

San Luis Bay - View from my morning run

One can only surmise that the kid’s recent sleep regression, which involved pockets of sleep followed by incessant inconsolable screaming over the course of five days has rendered the wife remiss in combing through the laundry with care. End result, diaper disaster.

The real question is…was it originally filled with a chocolatey surprise?

I ran the wash a second time with extra detergent (sans diaper), just in case.

Now I can’t help but wonder what other strange places people have found diapers.  I seem to recall finding one under the sheets at the foot of the bed once.

Oh and did I mention that someone who shall remain nameless, once  washed one of our cordless phones?  Luckily I was able to pull it apart and let it air dry over night.  By some kind of miracle it still works.  I’ve also found used tissues, gum, chapstick, coins, etc.  Let this be a lesson to all: do fully vet your laundry before hitting that cycle start button.


About AmateurParent

I'm just a guy.
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